The test just now read two pink lines. OH. HOLY. CRAP!! I’m overjoyed, terrified, and so very very crazy feeling right now… I feel like another waiting game has begun, but it’s one that I’m more excited to play than the last, because it’s one step closer to a baby!
I had to call my family and tell them, though they are on the other side of the country right now in Washington State. My dad seems excited but cautious for me, which is exactly how I feel. I’m trying so hard to revel in this yet not get attached, and those two feelings don’t reconcile well at all. But for now, I’m just happy with the news. I’ll try to enjoy the moment while it lasts for fear that it will be gone in a flash.
Oh, please, let it BE this time. May we have the healthy, happy child we have longed so much for! May those two pink lines keep the promise they made to me when I took a deep breath, opened the package, and expected nothing.
On a side note, before I found out the news a bit ago, I think I made a huge leap today when my pregnant sister-in-law was visiting, and I didn’t feel jealousy. I was able, for the first time since the miscarriage, to feel geniunely happy for her. I didn’t understand why I felt so at peace at the time, but now I do. May I hold onto that peace as I board this roller coaster and hang on for dear life.
My Miscarriage Story 